Transparency

We talk about a lot of things on this blog.

Ministry.  Parenthood.  Video games.  Bad haircuts.  Love.  In all of it, I have one goal, which is transparency.  If I’m going to run a blog about my daily life, where I share my opinions, tell stories, and expose my life to people, transparency is a necessity.  I struggle for it, and with it, each time I write something here.

I ask myself questions like, “How much is too much?”, and “Did I overshare?”.  The problem with transparency, to me, is that it is addictive.  When I come here and talk about something I’m dealing with, or tell a story about my family, the negative emotions associated with those things drift away.  Coming here helps me to process what i’m feeling and what is really going on beneath the surface of an issue.

A few months ago, one of the guys in my life that I really consider to be a mentor brought up this blog, and one of the first things he pointed out was the level of transparency that I’d been writing with.  Originally, I hadn’t noticed, and I’m being honest when I say that.  I was just writing whatever came into my head and out of my fingers as I typed.  But, as I tried to figure out what this blog would and wouldn’t be, telling stories about my own faults, failures, triumphs, and strengths just came naturally.  I was proud, then, that someone had noticed my transparency even when I hadn’t, because that meant that I was willing to share my life with people.

It’s risky to be transparent in our culture, especially in ministry, where a wrong step can see you crucified for something you’re still in process of figuring out.  That’s a risk I’m willing to take though, due to the fact that transparent people connect with their intended audience more.  Since I work daily with people, I want them to know that I’m approachable, that I’m friendly, and that I have faults too, just like them.  I never want to give off the impression that just because I’m called to ministry means I’m on top of some tall ivory tower and cannot be approached.

So, until something changes, I’ll continue to write about all my problems, my fears, my joys, my wins, my losses, and everything in between.  Because that’s what I want people to know about me: the whole story, nothing edited or censored.  Because, after all, don’t we all long for that?

For someone to really know us, as we truly are?

Life Isn’t Fair

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Sometimes life is not fair.  And don’t tell me that how it was designed.  I know that.  I know it’s not fair, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t complain.  

Life isn’t fair because kids go hungry everyday.  Life isn’t fair because woman get beaten.  Life isn’t fair because this morning one of the sweetest people I know is laying in a hospital bed dealing with the fact that she may never use her legs again.

She’s got Down’s Syndrome and a bad heart…..why add one more thing?

Another couple who are friends of Erin and I found out more bad news this week regarding a pregnancy.  I look at them, I see just how amazing they would be as parents, and I ask why.  Why not right now?  Why can they not have a child?  

I’ve got to admit I’m really struggling with these things.  I didn’t think I was at first, but I really am.  I know that God is in control and that this is all part of a greater plan, but we all have moments where it’s hard to trust that, right?

Sure we do.  And if you don’t, you’re some kind of superChristian that I really need to get to know and be around because I’m pretty sure that you’re not real.  

In Psalm 56:4, David found himself captured by Philestines.  I’m sure at the time, this didn’t seem much like a fair situation, and it was during that time that he wrote these words:

In God, whose word I praise, 

in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. 

What can flesh do to me? 

When it’s hard to trust, when it’s hard to believe, when it’s hard to keep going, we have to remember these words: I shall not be afraid.  
That is a tall order to be sure, but if we call ourselves believers, then trust is the very foundation of faith.  

Talkback Thursday: Doubt

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Doubt.

Out of all the things I struggle with in life, this is the greatest.  

Ask anyone who is around me, and they have all experienced me in the throes of doubt, wrestling with all sorts of issues.

Calling.

Fatherhood.

Self-worth.

Faith.

There are things that happen on almost a daily basis that make me wonder if I’m cut out for what I do.  And I deal with it as best I can, but when I lay down at night and settle into the dark, usually the thoughts that I have before I drift off to sleep point to that doubt again.

Yesterday was one of those days.  One of those days where it doesn’t seem that anything I do can be right.  So I come home.  I numb myself in front of the television.  I wall myself up in my bedroom with my iphone, reading blogs and tweets, doing anything so that I don’t feel that struggle again.

But it never works.  I always come back to doubt.  

Before you say it, I know I shouldn’t do it.  And most days, I don’t.  I’m more confident now that I’ve ever been in life and ministry.  But there are still those days when my old friend rears his ugly head and growls, a sound that shakes me down deep.

But the sound is always worse than the the reality.  Too many times I listen to the sound and let it define my reality, but I have to constantly remind myself that the growl is the only weapon my enemy has.  Any other weapons it attacks with are ones that I give it.  

So that’s really my problem.  I arm my doubt and allow it to attack me when I listen to it and believe the lies.  

So what is it that you doubt?  How do you struggle with it?  How do you defeat it?