We talk about a lot of things on this blog.
Ministry. Parenthood. Video games. Bad haircuts. Love. In all of it, I have one goal, which is transparency. If I’m going to run a blog about my daily life, where I share my opinions, tell stories, and expose my life to people, transparency is a necessity. I struggle for it, and with it, each time I write something here.
I ask myself questions like, “How much is too much?”, and “Did I overshare?”. The problem with transparency, to me, is that it is addictive. When I come here and talk about something I’m dealing with, or tell a story about my family, the negative emotions associated with those things drift away. Coming here helps me to process what i’m feeling and what is really going on beneath the surface of an issue.
A few months ago, one of the guys in my life that I really consider to be a mentor brought up this blog, and one of the first things he pointed out was the level of transparency that I’d been writing with. Originally, I hadn’t noticed, and I’m being honest when I say that. I was just writing whatever came into my head and out of my fingers as I typed. But, as I tried to figure out what this blog would and wouldn’t be, telling stories about my own faults, failures, triumphs, and strengths just came naturally. I was proud, then, that someone had noticed my transparency even when I hadn’t, because that meant that I was willing to share my life with people.
It’s risky to be transparent in our culture, especially in ministry, where a wrong step can see you crucified for something you’re still in process of figuring out. That’s a risk I’m willing to take though, due to the fact that transparent people connect with their intended audience more. Since I work daily with people, I want them to know that I’m approachable, that I’m friendly, and that I have faults too, just like them. I never want to give off the impression that just because I’m called to ministry means I’m on top of some tall ivory tower and cannot be approached.
So, until something changes, I’ll continue to write about all my problems, my fears, my joys, my wins, my losses, and everything in between. Because that’s what I want people to know about me: the whole story, nothing edited or censored. Because, after all, don’t we all long for that?
For someone to really know us, as we truly are?
