Transparency

We talk about a lot of things on this blog.

Ministry.  Parenthood.  Video games.  Bad haircuts.  Love.  In all of it, I have one goal, which is transparency.  If I’m going to run a blog about my daily life, where I share my opinions, tell stories, and expose my life to people, transparency is a necessity.  I struggle for it, and with it, each time I write something here.

I ask myself questions like, “How much is too much?”, and “Did I overshare?”.  The problem with transparency, to me, is that it is addictive.  When I come here and talk about something I’m dealing with, or tell a story about my family, the negative emotions associated with those things drift away.  Coming here helps me to process what i’m feeling and what is really going on beneath the surface of an issue.

A few months ago, one of the guys in my life that I really consider to be a mentor brought up this blog, and one of the first things he pointed out was the level of transparency that I’d been writing with.  Originally, I hadn’t noticed, and I’m being honest when I say that.  I was just writing whatever came into my head and out of my fingers as I typed.  But, as I tried to figure out what this blog would and wouldn’t be, telling stories about my own faults, failures, triumphs, and strengths just came naturally.  I was proud, then, that someone had noticed my transparency even when I hadn’t, because that meant that I was willing to share my life with people.

It’s risky to be transparent in our culture, especially in ministry, where a wrong step can see you crucified for something you’re still in process of figuring out.  That’s a risk I’m willing to take though, due to the fact that transparent people connect with their intended audience more.  Since I work daily with people, I want them to know that I’m approachable, that I’m friendly, and that I have faults too, just like them.  I never want to give off the impression that just because I’m called to ministry means I’m on top of some tall ivory tower and cannot be approached.

So, until something changes, I’ll continue to write about all my problems, my fears, my joys, my wins, my losses, and everything in between.  Because that’s what I want people to know about me: the whole story, nothing edited or censored.  Because, after all, don’t we all long for that?

For someone to really know us, as we truly are?

The word “No”

I hate the word “no”.  Who doesn’t?  I hate hearing it, I hate having to say it 20 million times a day.  I hate that it means I can’t do what I want to do when I want to do it.  But I’ve heard it a lot, from my parents, from Marty, from my kids, my church, my friends, and my God and it hurts my pride when I hear it.

But deep down I know it’s good for me.

I know that often, no means yes.  No to what is good, yes to what is best.  No to what is momentarily important, yes to the future.

If everything had been a yes that I’d prayed for my life would have been so different.  I would have been married to specifically 2 different people that I know now would have been totally wrong for me.  I don’t even like to think about that road, but I was so sure that was what was best.  I wouldn’t have married a man who still makes me laugh, that I don’t want to go anywhere without.   I wouldn’t have my 2 amazing children, who are patiently waiting for me to finish so we can have “B” day and do a worksheet.  Oh, they are my children.

Starting out, Marty and I interviewed at FBC Medina, and they rejected us, hard.  10 years later, I still feel the pangs.  But we wouldn’t be here, we  wouldn’t have seen God use us in amazing ways.  Mission trips, Frontline, Romania, 10 youth surrendered to ministry, we would have seen none of that.  None.  We have traded the good for the best.

There have been times I’ve prayed to leave this church, I know I’m probably not supposed to admit that, but ministry is hard.  It’s frustrating, not everyone is nice to you all the time.  But if we’d gone, we wouldn’t have seen the 5 youth join the church in the past month.

We went to see a gospel band Sunday night, The Red Roots.  Not my cuppa normally, but very talented teenage triplets.  They had a song called “What if God says No” which sparked this whole post.  It made me think.  It made me remember the scene in Bruce Almighty when he said, “yes” to everyone and the chaos it caused.  Anyway the lyrics have been stuck in my head, so I leave you with the chorus.

What if God says no
It don’t mean He loves us less
It just means He knows what’s best
What if God says no
It’s enough we have His grace
So don’t let go of your faith
What if God says no