Category Archives: God

Housefull

Posted on by
Reply

Last night, we packed over 35 people into our house for a Superbowl party.  Have you ever seen the inside of my house?  If so, then you know this was a superhuman feat.  Our living room is basically a large rectangle.  It only has one practical place to put a television, one practical place to put a couch…you get the picture.  Yet, somehow we had 35 teens and 6 adults in the place.

It was hot.
Loud.
Stinky at times.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.  In fact, those words pretty accurately represent my vision of community.  And when I say community, I want you to know that I don’t just mean a group of people living together in one area, I’m talking about people who get into each others lives and get messy with the details.  That’s the kind of community I mean.  It’s the kind of community where it’s uncomfortable sometimes, it gets loud, and sometimes it’s not just pleasant smells and sights and sounds.  It’s the kind of community that jams all types of lives together in one room to watch grown men slam into each other for the right to be called champions.

It’s eating too many chicken wings, laughing at commercials, and meeting new friends.  It’s five people piled on a recliner.  It’s teenagers, adults, senior adults and toddlers all in the mix.  It’s the way the church should be.  I’m not saying that the church should only get together to watch the game, or that it should be disorganized, but I think sometimes that the church (the body as a whole, it’s people, Christians) forgets that community is sometimes best unplanned.  We get frustrated that we can’t program community, but then the reminder comes, when you open your house to teenagers and the flood inside and fill every available seating area and then some, that community doesn’t come from a program or a plan, but from an open house and heart.

This is why I don’t mind the housefuls of teens that sometimes come over, or why it wasn’t a big deal that I only got an hour of free time to myself yesterday.  See, my job is to point them to Jesus and to foster community, and if nights like last night are what it takes, then so be it.

Broken and Left Out

Posted on by
Reply

When I was 12, I quit the church.

Rather, I felt like they had quit me, so I responded in kind.  I was in 6th grade, the stereotypical nerdy, chubby kid with too many words and not enough social skills.  I would go to school every day and listen to the taunts and jeers of my classmates, then go to church on Sunday mornings and hear the exact same things.  I was the class joke.  It made me hate church.  It made me disinterested with God.  By the time I was ready to transition into youth group, I was nearing the breaking point.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when a boy threw my Bible out of the second story window into the bushes below for no reason other than to laugh at me.

Snap.

I went home and tearfully begged my parents to not go to church anymore.  My reasoning was that the church was supposed to be a loving place, and if that was true, I should be treated differently than I was at school.  People should accept and love me there.  But, that was not the case.  And that is not always the case in many churches across our country.  A place that stands for truth, love, and grace can often become a place of lies, hatred, and gossip.  I see it all the time as a youth pastor.  People who are difficult to love get pushed to the side in favor of those who don’t take much effort to minister to, or old friends that we are comfortable with.  That’s wrong.  It’s sin.

Reese Roper, who was/is the lead singer of one of my favorite bands, Five Iron Frenzy, helped start a church in Denver, Colorado for people who felt left out and abused.  What did they name it?  Scum of the Earth.  I love that name.  Sure, many churches wouldn’t want a name like that, but their mission is right in the name!  They are there to reach those considered the scum of the earth.  The difficult.  The addict.  The dropout.  The “special”.  The outcast.  The orphan.  The very people that Jesus told us that he came for, the very people that God commanded his people over and over again to help in the Old Testament.  What we forget sometime is that we are all scum of the earth.  Because of our sin, Scripture tells us that are God’s enemies, the targets of His wrath, and separated from Him by our own wrongdoing.  We are not holy….we are filthy rags, unrighteous….scum.

I was talking with an older gentleman who works with our youth yesterday.  He’s become a mentor of sorts to me, and I was talking to him about my past, and he was shocked.  He told me he’d always assumed that I had grown up in church, that I was a good little church boy that had never had any doubts or problems, but that now he saw differently.  I was reminded in that conversation of why I do what I do, why I gravitate toward the broken and abused, and why when they walk through the door of our youth ministry I want so desperately for there to be no judgment for them.  Because they are broken, just like you and me, just like all of us.  And they need the same redemption that I was offered, that I have experienced in life, the same salvation that all people are freely given.

So, as scum of the earth, I reach out to fellow scum of the earth, knowing that we all have some kind of hurt, some kind of story to tell, and redemption waiting in the wings for each and every one.

Transparency

Posted on by
Reply

We talk about a lot of things on this blog.

Ministry.  Parenthood.  Video games.  Bad haircuts.  Love.  In all of it, I have one goal, which is transparency.  If I’m going to run a blog about my daily life, where I share my opinions, tell stories, and expose my life to people, transparency is a necessity.  I struggle for it, and with it, each time I write something here.

I ask myself questions like, “How much is too much?”, and “Did I overshare?”.  The problem with transparency, to me, is that it is addictive.  When I come here and talk about something I’m dealing with, or tell a story about my family, the negative emotions associated with those things drift away.  Coming here helps me to process what i’m feeling and what is really going on beneath the surface of an issue.

A few months ago, one of the guys in my life that I really consider to be a mentor brought up this blog, and one of the first things he pointed out was the level of transparency that I’d been writing with.  Originally, I hadn’t noticed, and I’m being honest when I say that.  I was just writing whatever came into my head and out of my fingers as I typed.  But, as I tried to figure out what this blog would and wouldn’t be, telling stories about my own faults, failures, triumphs, and strengths just came naturally.  I was proud, then, that someone had noticed my transparency even when I hadn’t, because that meant that I was willing to share my life with people.

It’s risky to be transparent in our culture, especially in ministry, where a wrong step can see you crucified for something you’re still in process of figuring out.  That’s a risk I’m willing to take though, due to the fact that transparent people connect with their intended audience more.  Since I work daily with people, I want them to know that I’m approachable, that I’m friendly, and that I have faults too, just like them.  I never want to give off the impression that just because I’m called to ministry means I’m on top of some tall ivory tower and cannot be approached.

So, until something changes, I’ll continue to write about all my problems, my fears, my joys, my wins, my losses, and everything in between.  Because that’s what I want people to know about me: the whole story, nothing edited or censored.  Because, after all, don’t we all long for that?

For someone to really know us, as we truly are?

Good news In Our Community

Posted on by
Reply

I can’t tell you how proud I am of our church.

Last night we saw 50 children show up for our yearly Midnite Madness event.  About half of them are connected with our church either as members or regular attenders to Pioneer Club, but that means that half of them had been invited.  That means our children are being good news in our community.  They believe the church is important and want their friends to be there.  This is huge!  I hope we adults appreciate this and encourage it!  That is how the gospel is spread, telling people as we go, being the good news!

We had about 15 youth both from our leadership team and extra who signed up to be helpers come to facilitate the event.  Our leadership team plans it from start to finish.  They get the activities together, they tell us what supplies we need, they are in charge of the show when the kids show up.  Marty and I and the other adults just step back to jump in if needed.  Then we asked the entire youth group, any that would like to help to stay and be trained, and they did a phenomenal job of interacting with and ministering to the children.  They played games, gave piggy back rides, sat with them during worship, ate dinner, and decorated cupcakes like champs.  We couldn’t have done it without them.  I am so proud to be blessed to work with these teenagers.

And last but not least, Ms. Kathy Davis and Ms. Marla Ernest were invaluable last night.  They are faithful to use the gifts God has given them whenever they can.  Ms. Kathy helped with our crafts and loved on some children with the best of them.  Marla helps us kick things into next gear.  She believes everything should be done with excellence and encourages us in that direction.   Without these 2 ladies I would have been lost last night.

Thank you parents for sending your children, you should be proud of them.  Thank you Reach 1 for continuing to surpass my expectations for you.  Thank you church for supporting us always.  We love you and thank you!  Let us all be good news in our community!

Accountable?

Posted on by
Reply

All my life, I’ve need someone to tell me what to do.

From my earliest memories, I have always worked best from a list.  If you write down what I need to do, then I can usually look somewhat successful.  I’m constantly writing myself reminders and lists, leaving them where I can find them. I verbally process in lists, which greatly annoys my wife, as she feels like it’s me telling her what to do, which I”m not.  I just need to say it out loud.

Recently, I’ve noticed that this isn’t just true for my professional life, but it’s also true for my faith.  I’ve told the teenagers that I minister to many times that following Jesus isn’t just a list of rules or checkboxes that you must fill to be in standings with Him, but oh, how I wish it was.  I wish it was just something that I could go through each and every day, merrily checking boxes until I achieve the ultimate relationship with God.  But, that can’t happen.  What can happen, however, is that I can find someone that will get into my life and talk with me about the things that are going on there.  What I need is an accountability partner, which regretfully, I don’t have right now.

So, this week, I’m going to try and fix that.  I’m looking for an accountability partner.  I need someone who is going to walk with me through my highs and lows, through the best times and worst times.  I can’t be my family.  It can’t be my wife.  It can’t be a member of the opposite sex.  I need a man who will guide, teach, mentor, correct, and love me through all the stuff I think, say, and do each day.

Do you have an accountability partner?  If so, how did you find them?  And now that you have one, how do you maintain that relationship?

Reflecting on Wednesdays

Posted on by
Reply

As I am sure it is in every small town, Bible Belt, southeastern youth ministry household, Wednesdays are rough (or the midweek service time -I’ve learned not everyone does it on Wednesday)  This mid week service is game day, what you’ve been preparing for all week, what the prayers have been focused on, what the extra candy has been bought for, what we’re hyped up for.  It’s the equivalent of the Pastor’s Sunday morning.

While yes, we’re fortunate that our children are in mother’s day out on most Wednesdays, I am spending that time doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, going over my own lesson for the night, getting ready for my afterschool job.  When I’m home from work it’s quickly getting ready and out the door to be there at 5 to help with the bus rider kids, set up my classroom, eat supper (Praise the Lord that we have meals at church on Wednesday nights, not just for the fellowship but the service it provides to our families!) get upstairs for Pioneer club worship, teach, and come back downstairs to stay with the kids whose parents are in the choir.

By the time we get home by 8:30-9:00, depending on what the choir is working on, I feel like we have fought a battle.  Before we stopped drinking soda, every Wednesday night we stopped for the Baptists’ only allowable vices, Rte. 44 Coke Zeros and a chicken strip sandwich from Sonic.   We were so drained, it felt as if our systems needed a little reward. Now, its a glass of water and a Reece’s peanut butter egg.

Maybe we have fought a battle.  I believe we have.  God is using us (by us I mean everyone who teaches, helps, interacts with the students who attend) to teach His truth.  Which often goes against everything else they are hearing.  Last night our lesson was from Job, he was praising God for making his body, which I totally don’t get because it appeared to Job’s friends that God had cursed him (covered in boils, whole family dead, riches gone)  But Job said, I know that God has made me and showed me kindness!  Kindness!  Can you believe it, in the midst of all that, he praised God for showing him kindness!  I was blown away.  The point we tried to get across though was that God made our bodies, He made them good, and that we thank him by taking care of them.   Since we know that His word never returns void, it always accomplishes His purposes,   I pray that someday, when one of the beautiful girls in our class is doubting that, she will remember that God made her.  He knit her together in her mother’s womb, He curdled her like milk (yep, Job really says that!) to make a wonderful cheese.  I pray the boys will know that God created them for a great purpose, to do His will.  Because His plans are good, to prosper us, not to harm us, to give us a future and a hope.

A few words about “Xmas”

Posted on by
1

(I originally posted this blog last year around Christmastime, and actually the year before that,  but I thought it was still pretty relevant, so I decided to share it again.  I hope it makes you think.  Merry Christmas!)


I’m probably going to make some folks mad with this post.

I realize this early on, and I take full responsibility for it. But, part of doing what I do is calling it like I see it, even when the truth isn’t sexy (thank you, Derek Webb). By now, if you’re like me, most of your Christmas shopping is done, presents are wrapped underneath the tree, and you’re just ready for the whole thing to be over with. Well, except for that last part. Part of why I feel the way about what I want to write about today is the fundamental shift that has occurred in my life over the last few years regarding Christmas, and what it really means. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Savior, my Savior, Jesus Christ. It is about how God came to earth in the flesh to ransom the souls of men by breaking the power of sin. Over the last few years, the full gravity of this has come to bear on me, and I have wrestled with it, trying to justify selfishness over the message of the tiny baby in a manger. Guess what? I lost.

Yesterday, as I was leaving the house to go to church, I noticed a sign in my neighbors yard which simply says “We say Merry CHRISTmas.” I shook my head at it and continued on, but later I learned the origin of those signs. Our local high school is selling them to fund their Project Graduation. This bothers me on so many levels. Not just because the name of Christ is being used as a commodity to pay for inflatable games and pizza, but because it also fans the flames of those who loudly declare “CHRISTmas” instead of “Xmas” or “Happy Holidays”. This is wrong, and I want to explain why.

A few years ago, I first noticed the hubbub in the news because some national chain stores had stopped using “Merry Christmas” in their advertising and were instead using “Happy Holidays”. The opponents of this used, “It takes Christ out of Christmas!”, as their main argument. That’s an understandable argument. But, to assume that Christ has been taken out of Christmas just because one department store or another chooses to say “Happy Holidays” or “Xmas” is a huge leap into false logic. In fact, a better argument might be that these corporations, and us to a larger extent, have taken Christ out of Christmas by the way we’ve turned the celebration of the birth of  the Christchild into a consumeristic bloodbath to get the best deals on the most stuff so we can all fake happiness a few more days. If anyone, ANYONE, is to blame for taking Christ out of Christmas, it’s anyone who chases stuff more than Jesus during this time of year. People lined up at our local Walmart at 11:00 p.m. the night before Black Friday……when is the last time you saw someone line up outside the doors of the church on Saturday night because they couldn’t wait to worship?

It bothers me so much that some people want to hold the name of Jesus high during the holidays, screaming “It’s CHRISTmas!”, but the rest of the year everything else seems to be more important. I think the best way Christmas is declared is by a life that is thankful for Jesus year round, not just one month, or one day. Let me break it down even further….

The symbol that I used at the top of this post is called a labarum, or the Chi-Rho. It is a symbol that is used in churches, and represents Christ. Chi is the pronunciation for the Greek letter “X”. The “X” in Xmas is from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of Χριστός, Christ in Greek. So, the first letter of Christ, when used in Xmas, is actually correct! Now, we can argue that there is some kind of agenda against Christmas, but the agenda isn’t with the church! It’s outside, in the consumer-driven holiday that we’ve allowed ourselves to create! I don’t understand why we think that corporations like Target, Walmart, Best Buy, or whoever, have to say “Christmas” when the rest of the year they don’t exhibit qualities of being a so-called “Christian” business. We can’t expect non-believers to act like believers. That only comes from a renewed mind and a regenerated heart.

As for the signs, we’ve turned Christ into a nothing more than a material thing. A name that’s bought and sold. And in doing so, we continue the feed the consumerist monster, only this time we give him the Messiah to snack on. In the long run, does it really matter, what we say? We can say Christmas/Xmas/Merry/Happy/whatever, but do our lives reflect that the child in the manger has changed anything about us? Do we only celebrate CHRIST in this month, or is he capital letters in our life all the time? I want to leave you with this except from an article on the secularization of Christmas, and the wisdom of C. S. Lewis:

In the early 20th century, Christian writers such as C. S. Lewis had already noted a distinct split between the religious and secular observance of Christmas. In Xmas and Christmas: A Lost Chapter from Herodotus, Lewis gives a satire of the observance of two simultaneous holidays in “Niatirb” (Britain backwards) from the supposed view of the Greek historian and traveller. One, “Exmas”, is observed by a flurry of compulsory commercial activity and expensive indulgence in alcoholic beverages. The other, “Crissmas,” is observed in Niatirb’s temples. Lewis’s narrator asks a priest why they kept Crissmas on the same day as Exmas. He receives the reply:

“It is not lawful, O Stranger, for us to change the date of Crissmas, but would that Zeus would put it into the minds of the Niatirbians to keep Exmas at some other time or not to keep it at all. For Exmas and the Rush distract the minds even of the few from sacred things. And we indeed are glad that men should make merry at Crissmas; but in Exmas there is no merriment left.” And when I asked him why they endured the Rush, he replied, “It is, O Stranger, a racket… “[64]

Merry Christmas everyone….let it be in our hearts as it is in our words.

The Lonely Road

Posted on by
Reply

I remember when I first told my parents that I thought God was calling me to be a youth pastor.  In my mind, the scene I pictured was much like the scene in A Christmas Story, where Ralphie, in a daydream, visits his family after being blinded by soap poisoning from all the times his mouth was washed out with soap.  His parents, greatly affected at the predicament of their boy, fall to their knees with lots of overblown wailing and crying.

That’s what I wanted, minus the wailing and crying.  I expected loud prayers of thanksgiving accompanied by lots of pats on the back and encouragement.  Instead, all I got was “You won’t make any money doing that!”

Deflated.  Shot down like a rogue Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon that’s on a crash course with Times Square.

Of course, since then, my parents have accepted my fate and even become proud of me, showing people my card and pictures and all those things that proud parents do.  But, in those early days, it was hard.  I learned early that ministry is a long, hard, lonely road.  I felt like I was carving a road out on my own, blazing a trail to my future like the people from Oregon Trail.  If my family didn’t understand my decision, then I reasoned that other people wouldn’t either, so I felt truly alone as I started toward college and eventually decided that full time ministry was what I was called to.

I thought that as I got older that ministry might get easier.  Surely, with a little bit of experience under my belt, I would know everything to do, and everyone would love me.  I’ll pause here so you can stop laughing.  I know.  I get it.  I was naive and silly, not to mention young and stupid.  I walked into my first full time ministry job (which I am still at, by the way) with the kind of wide eyed wonder that a kid has the first time they go to Disneyworld.  I had arrived!  Accept, I hadn’t.  And soon, when problems arose, people expected me to know what to do.  They wanted me to take care of them.  And suddenly, I realized that I had no clue how to do it.  Again, I felt alone.  There were times during that first year that I just went home from church and sat in a dark room with tears running down my face.  Here I was, newly married, new in town, and new to the world of ministry and our church, and I felt like I was the only one who’d ever dealt with what I was dealing with.  From the beginning, I felt like a failure, because I didn’t have all the answers.

And that’s exactly what Satan was telling me:  You’ve failed.  You’ll never last.  You won’t ever get through to these kids.  You don’t know enough.  You’re a terrible minister.  Isolation is one of Satan’s most powerful tools.  It’s there that he takes every circumstance and magnifies it until it’s all we can see.  Someone giving you a suggestion turns into them hating everything you’re doing.  Someone giving a bit of constructive criticism becomes them stabbing you in the back.  Needing to learn how to do your job becomes a study in your deficiencies.  Each and every attack is brutal, and each and every one is designed to destroy your confidence as a person and as a child of God, so you turn your back on Him.

In Matthew 28, Jesus ends his time on earth by telling his disciples “I will be with you always, even to the end of the world.”  The road of ministry is lonely, yes.  It causes us to make decisions for our families and ourselves that often people don’t understand, and are even opposed to.  It causes us to be far away from friends and relatives.  But….that promise again: Jesus will be with us always.  And though He’s not there in the flesh, though He does not speak with an audible voice, He walks with me and He talks with me.  He carries me when the road is too rough.  He points the way on the narrow road and asks that I not run ahead on my own.  And yes, there are times that I stray off the path, but He is always there.  He never fails, and on the lonely road, He is all that we can cling to at times.

So, wherever you are on the road, be it the road of ministry or your own personal journey, be assured today of one thing: Jesus is with you.

Missiology of a Family

Posted on by
1

I’ve been reading, (big surprise to those of you who’ve known me for a while), but not fiction, 2 books on parenting.  This has encouraged me in some ways, scared me in others, excited me overall, and caused me to evaluate how I’m doing.  Let me be the first to say, I don’t have it all together. Spend an hour alone with me and the kids, and you’ll see that!

The first book we received from a parenting seminar that Marty and the other Youth Pastors from our church association put together, is called Apparent Privilege.  I would highly recommend it, not that it gave a whole lot of new information, but was a great encouragement to us as parents.  The main gist is that we as parents are our children’s primary spiritual influencers, either to Christ or away from Christ.  This is something we’ve seen to be true in 10 years of youth ministry with very little exception.

The second book, Sticky Faith, is a follow up to the research Kara Powell and Fuller Youth Institute have conducted over the last few years.  This information has challenged me, and I’m not even through with it.  This book combats the fact that around 80% of teenagers in the church leave after graduating high school, meaning their faith hasn’t “stuck.”  Honestly, this terrifies me, for my kids in the church (who I’ve always loved as my own), and my own natural children.  Most of these kids interviewed had parents who were “doing everything right”:  bringing their children to church, encouraging them to be involved in activities, etc.  But their faith didn’t stick.  I’ll probably write more about this as I read more about it, but today my topic is in the chapter that I’m reading right now.

The author discusses the fact that growing up, her husband knew what his family stood for; their mission so to speak. That caused me to think about what my birth family stood for and what I want for my own family.  Please hear me now, we’re not perfect, we’re not getting this right currently, but we want to desperately.

My family of origin is great, I love them, all of them, and my parents, by the grace of God, produced 3 children who are in the ministry.  I would have said that you described our family as one who sought to do what the Lord said to the best of our ability, where the word of God was prized.  I remember in my teen years having discussions with my dad in particular about what scripture said and what was taught.  Were we a little legalistic, probably, scratch that, definitely.  But it was out of a heart to be holy as the Lord is Holy, or at least that’s how I saw it. My parents honestly wanted to please the Lord.  They always encouraged us to do what God told us to do, and I thank them for that.

That is exactly what I want for my children, and so much more. Well, except for the legalism part.

I want our family to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and talk about that when we eat, sleep, sit, rise, walk.  My desire is that the love of the Lord covers everything that we do.

Second, I want our family to be salt and light. (I’m about to address some issues that were raised from my last post.)  Of course, as a follower of Christ I want to be about the great commission, and I want my children to be about the same; when they are believers.  Right now they’re not, so they are under their father’s and my authority in that.  It’s our job to protect them from satan, who scripture says roams like a roaring lion, and to teach them.  We will most likely be part of a homeschooling cohort that, while I will be their primary teacher, we will have some interaction with on a weekly (or more) basis.  There’s one in a nearby community and one in Corinth, MS that we’re looking into, and they are not church related, meaning we’ll come in contact with people who don’t believe the same things we do.  We have very dear friends, who don’t believe the same things we do, we love them, and cherish their friendship.  At church we have children and youth coming from a variety of backgrounds.  One family practices the Hindu faith yet their son is there every Wednesday night.  Annaliese takes dance lessons, and Isaac will play sports when he’s old enough.  My family can be salt and light in all of those situations.  My children can be salt and light, even though they currently are not salt and light, in the context of our family and our church.  That’s what I pray my children see: us, their parents, their church family being faithful to live what we say we believe.

Do I realize I’m going to screw up?  Every day.  Do I know that my children are not going to be perfect? Yeah, they’re going to make wrong choices, hopefully not as many as I did.  Is the way we’re doing things the only way? No, but it is the mission of our family.

Letting the Bomb Drop

Posted on by
10

 

This post could have been a part of the last post I wrote, but I feel a long one coming on.

We have decided to homeschool.  Lots of you who read this already know this, but some don’t.  Like, I’m not sure Marty’s told his parents (sorry Marylin!)

My homeschooling journey began the day Isaac was born and I was sure that I would never want that baby out of my arms, much less my sight.  Marty was adamantly opposed.  He thought homeschool kids were weird, antisocial, and out of touch.  And, let’s  just be honest, some are, just as the same can be said for any child in any situation.  But, it was out of the question according to him, and I let it die.

Then, our surprise gift from God, Annaliese came into the world 14 months later and I determined that I could never homeschool two kids that close together and then Isaac’s stubborn, perfectionist personality came out (hmm, wonder where he gets that?) and I knew I could never homeschool him!  Honestly, I never really thought about it.  Yeah, from time to time one of the teenagers would say something about school and I would reply, “And that’s why I want to homeschool!”, but I was never really serious.

Then…..

A year ago Marty began an intense coaching program with one of the brightest youth ministry minds in the country and 10 other youth pastors from all over the southeast. It was the best thing that ever happened to him. At the same time Isaac started preschool 2 days a week, and absolutely loved it, loved being around other kids, loved learning, and loved playing in nasty playground rocks every day. I thought, “This is perfect, he loves school, it’s going to be no problem sending him to kindergarten.” So, as Marty begins his coaching network, we think that we have life planned out.

Then he reads a book called Teen 2.0, by Dr. Robert Epstein.  I would recommend it, but honestly the sheer size of it has deterred me from reading it!  But basically the author describes that teens are now radically different from the days of our parents, and in some ways this is good, but some not so great.  For instance, 100 years ago adolescence lasted about 2 years, now it lasts from as young as 8 in some girls to as late as 27 in some boys.  WHAT!?!  Even my sleep deprived brain could see that this was a problem.  The author advocated homeschooling because children’s brains need the increased responsibility and conversation with adults that this would afford.  Can it be done other ways?  Most definitely, I wasn’t homeschooled, and I definitely feel like I went into adulthood pretty responsible.

So we discussed it.  We said we’d pray about it, I don’t think I really did, because, like I said, I was happy with the status quo.  Especially when Annaliese started preschool as well, I loved my Mondays and Wednesdays free!  I could have a quiet time, that was actually quiet!  I could do laundry without someone “helping,” it was me time, and it was good!

But God began to put people in my path who homeschool.  People at my parent’s church, a new friend whose husband is in the ministry, and who am I kidding, I love the Duggars!  And then I began getting hit with scripture, the Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4-9) and Proverbs 22:6 in particular.  And frankly I began hearing things that I didn’t like, “You have to deprogram them when they come home,” and “The school atmosphere breeds a certain attitude,” and, in the past year 2 of our teenagers have been in bullying situations. Finally I consented to pray, and I actually did.  I began to talk with Marty about it, and we listed all the good things: Fridays off (Marty’s off most Friday’s so this was a definite plus!), flexibility, vacations can now be field trips, knowing what my children will be taught, teaching them things they will actually use (Algebra 2 anyone?).  We want them to have a healthy view of ministry: what it looks like, ways they can minister as young children, and homeschool will afford all of that.  Of course there are negatives as well…..socialization? My husband is a youth and children’s pastor we are ALWAYS around kids. Always. That wasn’t an issue.  So, then it boiled down to the opinions of others.

We don’t think that the school system where we live is terrible, quite the opposite actually, some of the smartest graduates I know have come out of this system.  We don’t think we’re better than anyone else, again I am confident I can’t do this alone.  We don’t want to separate our children from the rest of the world, we just want to teach them our values before everyone else gets too.  (Again, I know you can do this in the public school system, but how much easier will it be to not have to fight what we don’t believe is truth.)  Will we have problems?  Sure.  Is it going to be permanent?  Who knows.  Is it what is best for our children?  We think so.