About Marty Estes

31 year old youth and children's pastor hoping to make a difference in the world through ministry and writing.

My rock.

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Marty Estes

If I only had one word to describe you, that’s what it would be. “Rock”. To me, you are a greater symbol of strength and stability that many things I’ve ever known. You work hard. You hold the family together. You are stable. You stand for what you believe and never back down. You aren’t afraid to admit you’re wrong when need be, and you handle setback with dignity and steadfastness.

I am talking about you, my wife.

Very soon, we will be married for 11 years. Each and ever year is sweeter than the last. I know you might think I’m not serious, but I wasn’t lying all those years ago when I said I was marrying my very best friend, the one that I knew God had destined me for. 11 years hasn’t changed that belief, it’s only made it stronger. You have been with me through ups and downs, personal and professional. You stayed by my bed when I was in the hospital in 2010 and refused to go home. You have waded with me through the murky waters of disappointment, heartache, and despair. You’ve stood with me on the mountaintop of triumph. And yet, usually, it’s me who gets all the credit, and you who quietly stands in the background as my strength.

Let it be publicly known that I would NOT be the man I am today if it weren’t for you. You have refined me, bettered me, challenged me, and reigned me in. All of those things I wouldn’t change for all the money in the world. These and countless more reasons are why I love you.

This morning I gave you a hug before I left and called you beautiful. You never accept that compliment, and I think you don’t believe me when I say it, but I know you’re going to read this, so let me say it again: you’re beautiful. Nothing in this world will ever change how I feel about you. I love you completely, deeply, with my whole heart and soul. You have changed my life for the better and together we have what may not be the perfect family, but it’s just right for us. My children have the best mother, I have the best wife, and every day that we spend together, you get more beautiful. Beauty is not just an outward appearance, but an outward reflection of what is inside. To that I say that you have all three: physical, emotional, and spiritual beauty.

Thank you for being the mother of my children.
Thank you for loving us so sacrificially.
Thank you for putting up with all my schemes, plans, new interests, and life choices.
Thank you for being a willing and active part of my ministry.
Thank you for being my number 1 cheerleader.
Thank you for standing beside me through life.
Thank you for every meal cooked, every chore done, every late night spent.
Thank you for pointing us to Jesus.
Thank you for staying when you didn’t have to.
Thank you for saying “YES” on November 2, 2001.
Thank you for saying “YES” every day.
Thank you for speaking truth.
Thank you for teaching my kids.
Thank you for being you.

Thank you for being my rock.
I love you, Erin, and happy birthday.

Jesus on our hands.

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Marty Estes

Last night we had our church’s annual Spring Fling, which is a yearly outdoor worship service and gathering. Actually, we were supposed to have already had it, but due to bad weather we were unable to have it when intended, and due to bad weather this week as well we couldn’t have it outside. So, doing what good Baptists do (taking any opportunity to have a fellowship meal) we moved indoors and had it inside. Our youth band led in worship and we made our way to the fellowship hall for hamburgers and hot dogs, which, in my opinion, is a pretty good deal. Something happened during worship, though, that made my pause and have a daddy moment.

As we stood to sing, Isaac grabbed a pen from the pew in front of him and starting clicking it over and over. After telling him to stop a couple of times, he sat down and I returned to singing along with everyone else, until I felt a tug on my arm. He’s really been into drawing on his hands lately, mostly smiley faces or shapes, but this was different. He was very insistent that I know what was on his hand. As I leaned down to him, he gave a crooked, snaggletooth smile and said, “Daddy, look, I’ve got Jesus on my hand!”

(Did I mention that I’m a proud papa?)

Oh, that you and I would have the same enthusiasm to have Jesus on our hands. Not a drawn, pen and ink Jesus, but the very essence of our Savior. How do you and I get Jesus on our hands? We love like Him. We serve like Him. We go like Him. We pray like Him. We touch lives like Him. We mend and heal like Him. We tear down like Him. That is how Jesus is on our hands.

What made me think of this was a conversation that I had with one of our youth who was sitting to my right. He’d been fishing for a good part of the day and had come to church straight from it without the chance to clean up. As we chatted before service, there were several times I caught a whiff of something…..fishy. The smell of his day’s work was still on his hands, and it punctuated the conversation at times unmistakably. What if people caught the fragrance of Jesus from our hands throughout each and every conversation we were in daily? What if we literally were so in tune with our Savior that the people we came in contact with got a glimpse of Jesus in the flesh? What if Jesus was on our hands?

“Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing. To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume. And who is adequate for such a task as this?

~2 Corinthians 2:15-17

Six.

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Marty Estes

You sleep on the top bunk. Your favorite toys are Skylanders, Ninja Turtles, and anything that makes you feel like a warrior. Despite my best efforts, you have little to no interest in Transformers, and it breaks my heart. But, the more time goes by, the more I realize that its all part of you becoming your own person, which is exactly what a big boy like you needs to do. You’ve started kindergarten, and your mommy is such a good teacher…you can read, do writing, and math. You are so smart, just like her, and you continue to grow!

Six years ago, I was sitting by your mother’s bedside as we talked about what you were going to be like, and what it was going to be like to be parents. I was scared, I admit it. I am scared still every single day when I wake up, because I’m afraid that I’m not going to be the Daddy you need or deserve. There are times when I lose my temper, when I get upset, when I yell or fuss, and I wonder how each word or action will affect you in the long run. But, I realize that it’s not up to me.

This past year, the most important thing that can ever happen to a person happened. One night, late in the summer, I knelt by your bed as you told me that you wanted to ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. I have never been more proud to be your Daddy than at that moment. (Well, except for when I got to baptize you.) And that’s why I know that it’s not up to me anymore to determine the outcome for your life but, in fact, it’s out of my hands. Like Hannah, I had always prayed that you would be God’s and that He would teach you, raise you, and use you. And I know you have a bright, bright future ahead of you. You don’t have such a sensitive, tender spirit for no reason.

So, today, on your 6th birthday, I wish you nothing by the best. May you save Skylands and be the hero. May you rescue the Princess and defeat Bowser. May you ride into the sunset and keep all the treasure for yourself. Most of all, may you continue to grow into the man that God wants you to be, and may I remind myself that the role I play is huge yet small, important yet not, wonderful yet bittersweet, and may we enjoy every minute together as father and son. I am so proud of you, Bumblebee.

Happy sixth birthday, Isaac. Daddy loves you so much.

Seasons

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Marty Estes

Seasons change. Seasons come and go. The sun sets and rises, and every day we get new mercies. It’s the hope of a new day that keeps us going, and causes us to look forward to tomorrow.

I’ve been in a new season of my life for the last 6 months. And, I have to say, it’s been pretty wonderful. A new church, a new home, new friends, a new youth family, reconnection with old friends, reconnection with my wife, feeling happier and more fulfilled in my calling and in my marriage and in my parenting…all of this has happened in the last six months. The worst part about it is that it’s gone by in a blur.

But, seasons change. Tomorrow, another season of life begins for my son. He turns six, and, if I’m being honest with you, I don’t want him to turn six. In two months, my little girl turns five. Like my son, I don’t want this to happen. If I could freeze time and keep them just like they are, with all their wiggles, squiggles, giggles, hugs, and kisses, I would. But I can’t. It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to our world, who will benefit from their growing up, going out, and contributing to it. It’s the turn of a page, a new beginning, a new season.

Seasons change, and we celebrate life, but we also experience loss in the change. A dear friend of mine found out yesterday that his niece was killed in an accident while playing with her sister. Just about to turn 13, her life was ended tragically, and most, if not all of us would say that it is way too soon and that life is unfair. It’s true. Life is unfair. It’s a terrible situation. God never intended us to face the effects of death, pain, and suffering, and this does not make Him happy. I hurt for my fellow brother in Christ, but, like the sunrise, I hope for a new season, one where this family can heal and see hope again.

My rambling point is: no matter what season in your life, you can always look forward to the next one, with the hope that Christ is already there, and no matter what the words on that page of life may bring to you, He stands ready to walk every step of the way with you.

Shaking Houses and Hearts…

Posted on January 30, 2013 by Marty Estes

January isn’t a time for tornados. Now, I know it could be argued that there’s NEVER time for tornados, and that might certainly be true, but if there’s ever a time to not have tornados, it’s January. (Y’know, I blame all of this on Al Gore and his global warming ray that he’s using to destroy our planet from his offworld satellite. Yeah, that’s right. Al Gore is a supervillain. My blog, my rules.) Last night, some pretty rough weather went through our area, and I, being the vigilant father and husband that I am, stayed up to watch the coverage and track the storms.

If I’m honest with you, staying up to watch the weather isn’t so much because I am chivalrous, but because I’m scared of getting blown away more than the rest of my family. Erin typically just rolls her eyes and goes to bed when I start watching the weather, and usually isn’t very happy when I wake her up to take shelter. These are the scars I must bear, though, for being scared of storms.

So, awake I sat, drinking coffee and playing Hundreds on my iPad, until about 1:30 a.m. when we lost our satellite signal and the wind really began to pick up. I’ve never really felt a house shake with the wind, well, until last night. The windows began to rattle. Wind was forcing itself in through the cracks in the door I didn’t know were there. I could hear things rattling across the porch as the gusts moved them, with lightning flashing and thunder rolling in the background. It was about that time that I put the iPad down and made for the bedroom.

Without much of a thought, I woke Erin up and began to get the kids into the hallway. No easy task, since Isaac sleeps on the top bunk of their bunk beds and he’s about 65 pounds or so. Needless to say, minutes later we were hunkered down in the hallway as rain hit the house sideways and the storm raged around us. I didn’t want the kids to know that I was worried, but as the satellite picked up reception again it went back to the weather report just in time for 5 year old ears to hear “tornado” and it was enough that Isaac was not going back to sleep. He knew something was going on. Obvious, again, because he was lying in the hallway on a pillow. I grabbed some pillows for our heads just in case, and we waited in out.

We were lucky. The storm, and tornado with it, went south and hit another part of our county. They weren’t so lucky. But, a thought occurred to me in the moment last night: why am I afraid of this storm? I serve a God who commands the wind and the waves, I serve a God who has written the story of my life, and He decides when it begins and ends, and He decides if a tornado is allowed to hit my house or not. Funny, isn’t it, that we believe we can track and predict these things when we have a God who simply creates wind and weather, and can change both with a gesture or word. Not only does that calm my heart, but that power also makes my heart shake, knowing that the most powerful being in the universe wants a relationship with me, was looking after me, was holding us right where He wanted us to be.

Maybe I’ll sleep through that next storm, after all.

Owning Who You Are

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Marty Estes

When I was in junior high, and well into high school, I loved country music. I know, I know. As a teenager, my favorite artists were Garth Brooks, Brooks and Dunn, Diamond Rio, and more. One of my greatest Christmas presents was a Garth Brooks the Hits CD followed by a George Strait boxed set. That was the year I got my stereo. I used to sit up in my room for hours, playing Super Nintendo, and listening to Garth Brooks on repeat. I’m sure it drove my mom crazy. For years, my dream was to be in the talent show at my local high school and sing a country song, which of course would bring the house down and I would win and blah, blah, blah, on and on. That never happened.

Somewhere around my senior year of high school, I started hanging out with people from church after I got saved and they got me in to rock and roll. The first rock CD I ever purchased was Audio Adrenaline’s In Bloom, which is still one of my favorites. It opened a whole new world to me, and suddenly I wasn’t listening to country anymore. The more I hung out with those people, the more I became like them. I’ve told them this before, but those years were very formative in my faith, and were some of the best of my life.

As I went to college, where I was suddenly surrounded by strangers and there wasn’t one person I knew, I got a little lost. And I think this is something that happens to all of us at some point in time. If we’re not careful, we can get a little lost and forget out way in life. I fell out of church. I started dressing darker, even goth for awhile (which I’m sure would surprise a lot of people who know me now), and my attitude matched my clothing. It was a time where I was “trying to figure out who I was,” and I wasn’t having much success. Eventually, through a long series of events, including being a band, meeting my wife, going into ministry, and having children, I became who I am today. And, here’s the thing: I’m completely fine with who I am.

I never thought I would be here, but yet, I’ve suddenly found myself in the place I wanted to be. I’m a 32 year old youth pastor who loves kids cartoons, video games, books, and toys, who runs a geeky podcast and website in his spare time and is pretty much just a general dork. And I’m ok with that. I’ve learned that God creates us all with a unique set of skills, talents, and personality traits and that it doesn’t matter what type of music you listen to, or what type of clothing you wear, or what type of interests you have….you need to be happy with who you were created to be before you’re happy anywhere else. You have to own who you are.

Of course, I believe that the only way you can figure that out is through having a relationship with Jesus Christ. That’s how I figured it out….one day as I was walking to class, He spoke to me, and told me that the reason I hadn’t found myself was that I was looking everywhere except Him. So, owning who you are has to be through the lens of realizing that who you are isn’t complete with Jesus, and it’s in His identity that you find yours.

Trust Issues

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Marty Estes

A few years ago, Erin and I were going to get our taxes done. Ministerial taxes are a lot different from everyone else’s, and quite frankly are very confusing, so we wanted to find someone to give us some help. The secretary at the church we were serving recommended an independent accountant who worked out of her home in a neighboring town and so we called for an appointment, drove over, and dropped off our information. I was confident that we’d done everything right and that our life was on the right track. I hope, dear reader, that your radar is on and that you sense imminent danger here. Things were NOT on the right track.

We returned a week later and picked up our taxes, being told that we owed a pretty large amount of money to the IRS. I managed to hold it together until we were about halfway home, when I picked up the packet of tax papers and angrily threw them across the dashboard of our car, sending papers raining down everywhere. I beat on the steering wheel with my fist and screamed at God. ”We’ve done everything we are supposed to! I’m here trying to work for you and now this?! I just don’t understand it!” It was in that moment, in the face of money I didn’t have plus payments I had to make, that I was showing my trust issues.

Throughout my walk with Christ, my trust issues have reared their ugly heads. What are trust issues, exactly? Trust issues occur when I put my faith in temporary things instead of the eternal. Trust issues are when I put my faith in the creation instead of the Creator. Trust issues are when I worry about money instead of trusting the God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Long story short, things were ok. We paid off the debt, and we are still pressing on. But, trust issues aren’t defeated so easily. They aren’t just something that you fix one time and then you’re ok. Trust issues reveal that there is a fatal flaw in our faith somewhere. They reveal that our understanding of God isn’t in the infinite, omnipotent deity that the Bible speaks of, but of the tiny, manageable god we keep in our back pocket or in a box. Trust issues reveal that we don’t really believe. Suddenly, I understand what Søren Kierkegaard once said (we took Isaac’s middle name from him, btw) when he said “It is so hard to believe, because it is so hard to obey.”

Trust issues undermine our obedience on an emotional, and spiritual level. When I doubt, I don’t obey the commands to trust, to have faith, to rest in the arms of my everlasting God. And because of that disobedience, I don’t believe. I don’t believe the promises of Scripture that say that God will take care of me, that He will provide my needs, that He will protect me and my family. And I believe, really, that each and every one of us has trust issues of some form or another when it comes to God. Think: what would life be like if we could let go, trust and believe?

That’s what I’m trying to work out.

A Difficult Question

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Marty Estes

“Daddy, when do you read your Bible?”

That was the question my son asked me last night right in the middle of our Sunday night service. He had taken my Bible, flipped to a random page, and was “reading” before he turned those inquisitive eyes of his up to me and fired off that bomb of a question. What should I say? My mind flipped through all the answers it could come up with the brief few seconds I had, and finally I decided on this one:

“Well, I read it in the mornings sometimes, and sometimes when I get to my office….”

I left it there, but the question kept bouncing around in my head. How I wish I could’ve had a definitive answer for him! I would’ve loved to have said, “When I get up in the morning, long before you are awake, I get down on my knees beside my bed and your mother and I pray for you, our family, our world, and more, then we spend time in Bible Study together and get ready for the day over coffee.” That is NOT how our normal day goes though. It made me very aware of my own lack of commitment to Scripture reading and reminded me of something huge: my children are watching me. Everything I do, everything I say, everything I allow or don’t allow in my life…they are soaking it up like a sponge.

My responsibility is now two fold. I am responsible for my own spiritual knowledge, but I am also responsible for how my children perceive the Word of God. Whether they see it as a joy or a burden depends on how they see me reading it, and how often they see me in it. It’s one thing to teach from it, but another to read from it and live it. My prayer is that in 2013, I’m better about reading and living than I am at teaching.

Giving This Another Shot

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Marty Estes

I need lots of second chances.

If I’m honest, I’ve had too many. For just about every situation in my life, I’ve found myself wishing for, or begging for, a second chance. 99% of the time, I get it.

And then I blow it.

It’s funny to me that everyone wants second chances, but are so hard pressed to give them out when the time comes to be on that end of the equation. For those of us who are believers, it’s even more funny to me because we are knowledgeable about the grace of God, and are the recipients of it.

Grace is simply getting what we don’t deserve. The difference between it and mercy, which is us not getting what we deserve, is that grace is a free gift that doesn’t depend on us at all. Mercy depends on us doing things that deserve being merciful over. Grace simply gives.

As I thought today about starting this blog back up, I thought about how many second chances I’ve had in life. There have been second chances to be a good guy, to be a better husband, to be an excellent father, to be a good worker, and many many more. But, out of all of those, they all pale in comparison to being giving a second chance at life through Christ, and a third, fourth, fifth, and even 768th chance to follow him in the days since.

What that’s taught me about grace is that everyone needs a second chance. Everyone needs something they don’t deserve, which could be a handshake, a smile, a laugh, a hug, or salvation. It’s taught me that the problem with me isn’t that I don’t know how to receive grace, but I don’t know how to give it. It’s taught me that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God.

As I try to blog again, I ask that you be gracious to me, and I pray that the Lord will help me to be gracious to others as well.

Repost: The Christian Response to President Obama

Posted on November 7, 2012 by Marty Estes

(Note: I posted this exactly 4 years ago to this day after the 2008 election. I re-read it this morning in light of what happened last night and thought it could be helpful given the events of the last 24 hours. Enjoy!)

Finally. Finally, it’s over. After almost 2 years of campaigning, America has a new president. President-elect Barack Obama literally swept over John McCain in an election that didn’t keep us up past midnight wondering about hanging chads, recounts, or narrow margins. We are truly waking up today in a new country, due to the historic nature of this election. It would’ve been historic either way, but to live today in a country that just elected it’s first African-American president after being segregated so few years ago is a huge moment in history. However, there is unrest still.

Over the past few weeks I, as well as my other brothers and sisters in the faith, have been bombarded with anti-Obama messages. Some of them are factual, some of them aren’t, and some are so far into outer space that they aren’t relevant. These messages usually relate to one of two issues: things the Democratic Party stands for, or the background of Mr. Obama. Whether those messages are right or wrong is a non-issue now, as our country has elected him. The issue now is whether the American people will support him, and more importantly, whether we as Christians will support him.

Romans 13:1-2 states, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” I believe that we as Christians are included in that statement. It is our duty to support and follow the leadership of those authorities set up over us. Now, certainly, there are times when discontent and rebellion are the only way, but honestly, this isn’t one of those times. We are called to be peacemakers. You may not like Barack Obama. You don’t have to. But you do have to love him. We are called to be people are love.

This is all assuming, however, that John McCain is God’s choice for president. Watching the news last night, it certainly seemed that way, as most evangelical Christians were voting for McCain. But, to assume that one man or woman is God’s choice and the other is not is to put God in a box and try to be God ourselves. Sure, a person can hold Christian values. They can be shown going to church, or praying, or serving. But when the cameras are off, the microphones are put away, and the reporters go home, who are they really? This isn’t an attack on McCain. This can be said about ALL of the candidates. But, the reality is that God is not a Republican, nor is He a Democrat. God’s choice for president is whoever He chooses, be it for a time of goodness and prosperity or a time of persecution and suffering. God is on his throne no matter who is president.

This morning, as the sun broke over the horizon, we awoke to a new world. Things have changed dramatically since we went to sleep last night, due to a historic vote. Now, it’s time for God’s people to be His hands and feet. You don’t have to like Barack Obama, his policies, his cabinet, or his principles. You do have to love him. You need to pray for him. You need to pray for this country. And you don’t need to act like this country is going to fall apart because of one man. This country is still it’s people, and the people need Jesus. The Christian response to the presidency of Barack Obama is going to be critical to the way people see Jesus, and Christ-followers. What will you do?

Transforming Me

A blog about life, parenthood, ministry, homeschooling, and stuff.

Author Archives: Marty Estes